Stuck In The Middle

Woman sitting on top of fence

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Stuck in the Middle

I am stuck in the middle of an ideological political war between friends.  I sit here and can see both sides of the fence knowing that I have thoughts that swing either way.  It’s a strange place to hover and yet, seems rather normal at the same time.  Am I alone atop this political divide and must sit here in solitude?  At times, I feel just that way.

I see such ugliness emerge from the mouths and written thoughts of my friends and cannot believe it.  I grew up with so many of these people who are now so strongly vetted into their stance, that they no longer see the heart and soul of an individual; spewing hatred as a second-nature act.  It disgusts me, really, as I try to make sense of the anger they project.

My view from my perch is rather terrifying as I do not know in which way to hop down.  I have this strange blend of political beliefs that can weave from side to side of the fence.  My heart is woven with kindness and non-judgement, so I have a hard time understanding why others do not see the damage their words are doing.  I have grown up with those who have preached how to “walk a mile in another’s shoes”, yet they have forgotten to apply that metaphor to their own personal life.  Not everyone’s shoes are the same, nor have they covered the same ground and experiences.  I don’t understand the hatred and judgment.

Some of my political beliefs lean left.  Some of my political beliefs lean right.  Not one of my political beliefs is set in stone and can be changed and altered in my mind at any time.  This is okay from my highest perch point in the middle and should be okay with others.   Will I change them?  Probably not, but if I have new experiences and new directions to go, they could.

My heart is heavy for the first time in my adult life over the hatred that is encompassing my world and my life.  I have not seen this side of my friends or family that pulls out of them a negative energy that is so disparaging.  My social life is crumbling because I cannot trust the conversation that will ensue; which usually is politics.  There seems to be no happy, social banter running around these days.

Are these the signs of the times for the next four years while this new president is in office?  Did his placement in the bigger scheme of things root out that which has tentacles deep and does not wish to be released?  Is a lower, vibrating energy being uprooted and dismantled like no one has ever seen , causing mass chaos in the minds of so many?

There is so much fear.  Fear that I do not live within nor do I acknowledge or accept in my life.  I find myself taking each moment as it is and hoping for the best.  I cannot live a life of fear, a life of negative attacks toward all those I love, a life of cutting others out of my life because I don’t believe with their side of the political fence.  I will not allow that fear to drive my spirit and my voice, as the fear is vitriolic and filled with hatred.

As I sit here stuck in the middle of this political warfare, I am reminded to find my balance; find my center.  I am reminded to keep my judgments away and share love to those disheartened and running on fear.  I am reminded that my life is my own choosing, and I can choose to remain atop this fence looking at both sides of the battle with an open heart and open mind.  I am reminded that for a reason I don’t always understand, there are those whose lives have led their beliefs extremely to the left and extremely to the right of the political divide.  I am okay with myself hovering in the middle.  I am reminded to continue to respect others’ opinions, as I know they have not done so with mine.  I will remain atop this fence and stay above the fear and hope to deflect some of the word slinging from friends whom I thought without judgment.

I will remain stuck in the middle.

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