Lost My Shine

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Lost My Shine

I’ve lost my shine; my sparkle. I am a teacher in November with 35 kids all whom have various degrees of behavior, from extreme walk-around-the-room blurting anything they want to sit-in-their-seat properly with a super silent hard-to-hear their voice.

I am tired. Bone-weary tired.

I do not know if I can make it to May with this level of exhaustion.

I know I am not the only one feeling this way. I have seen veteran teachers with rock-solid classroom management and teaching styles crumbling under the weight of the students this year.  I follow many teacher blogs and sites on social media with teachers questioning their own rock-solid classroom management.

The educational classroom craziness has become too much!

I am beginning to see the effects of technology on the students and cannot wait to read the studies that will come out about this technology and how it affects the children. Yes, there are positives to technology, but some negatives are beginning to come to light.  I have noticed that my students cannot stay focused on reading for more than a few minutes.  Their brains are moving at lightning speed and are all over the place.  I notice, also, that many of my students go into a daydream state while in class, not because the lesson is not interesting, but because I think they are giving their brains a break from all stimuli.  It’s too much for them to handle.

One other issue that I must always address is MANNERS. I am always redirecting, responding, guiding, teaching manners.  Simple manners such as to sit down while eating your breakfast (we eat breakfast in the classroom), sit down while eating a snack, tissue are for boogers not fingers, not to eat what you pick from your nose, getting up to sharpen pencil or wander the room is rude while someone is teaching or talking.  And, the list can go on and on.

I am concerned for the kids that I see and that some parents are backing away from their own responsibilities and the schools are trying to pick up the slack. Is it really that difficult to get your child’s hair brushed before school?  Is it really that difficult to make sure they have at least a pair of shoes that are not falling apart and we have to find shoes for the child or duct tape them together to get them through the day with shoes on their feet?

I am tired. Bone-weary tired.

I spend more time on matters of manners and ways to be an appropriate citizen than teaching some days. The work load is over-taxing.  The paper pile and requirements are overloading.  My shoulders cannot take much more weight.  I have strengthened my spine, but even that is beginning to bow under the weight.

At what point do I just say F..k it all and walk away from a career I used to love?

I hope my body’s health does not decide that for me.  I wrote an article about 20 ways to relieve stress and anxiety.  I do many of those tips on my list every day.  But, the weight is almost too much.  I’m a great teacher who loves her students and my students love me back.  Consequently, that relationship will have to be severed for my own health and well-being if something systemic does not change in the education system.

Are you feeling like you’ve “lost your shine” a bit?  Is something overwhelming you?  Please feel free to comment below and let me know.

We can help lift each other up!

4 Comments on “Lost My Shine”

  1. I love you as well, Dawne. Thank you for the uplifting comment. It gets overwhelming at times, and I need to remember to find those moments for myself to recoup and regenerate. All the little moments count!

  2. Love you Kerri!! I’m so sorry to hear that it’s a hard year for you. I agree that we have to spend huge amounts of time training students who don’t come to school with proper social skills and manners. These poor kids also aren’t being taken care of physically or mentally. It’s sad that too many of these low SES parents aren’t parenting. It doesn’t have to do with money, either. I think too often it’s because of drugs. What is our society coming to??? I feel bad for the other kids who have to wait patiently while we are being interrupted, talked over, etc. Their education is suffering from it and I think it’s happening everywhere….

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